@Madsjorgensen selective sync is used to limit what data can come from Salesforce to HubSpot. It seems like you want to change how that data is received in HubSpot.
I’d recommend syncing all data without configuring selective sync and setting up a workflow that enrolls deals in the two deal stages you’ve indicated that sets all associated contacts to Lifecycle Stage = SQL. You can turn off the setting to auto set lifecycle stage to opp when a deal is created & create another workflow to enroll deals in all other stages to set the lifecycle stage to opportunity.
Hope this helps!